Discouragement: "The Black Smoke"

*A Note:  Stay with me until the end.  God gave me a pretty stellar vision.*


Discouragement is a beast.  It comes at the most inopportune times and steals away all hope or anticipation for the future.  I have been fighting this beast for a while, but last Tues. it came crashing into me with full force.  I must admit I am still shaken by it.  I sometimes get so lost in it that the only thing I see in front of me is the very real and present impossibilities in my life.  It leaves no room for the dreams of God's heart, it only leaves room for despair and hopelessness.  I liken it to the "black smoke" from LOST.  Those of you who have seen that show will understand what I am talking about.  The black smoke is just that; a thick black smoke that moves around the island looking for people to devour.  Few survive the black smoke.  Normally, it comes out of nowhere and instantly elicits fear in the person it comes after.  But, there are a few people who stand in the face of the black smoke and what does it do?  It leaves!  They face the fear, despair, and impossibilities that the black smoke holds in it's very essence.  They look it in the face and it retreats.  


When I begin to dream, I feel the black smoke begin to invade my brain.  I begin to dream of how God wants to use me in releasing His Kingdom through worship and the black smokes begins to speak to me.  It usually says things like "That dream is impossible.  You will never get enough money to do what you want to do.  You are probably going to be destitute next month!  No one will ever give to a little worship leader.  You will never be picked for such a big venture.  Remember, you always have been and always will be just the church worship leader and how significant is that, really?"  I know, super vulnerable information, but that is what it says to me.  So, today I stand in the face of the black smoke and say that I have destiny and purpose and God is big enough to provide for it all!


I had a dream/vision last night that I want to share with my few followers.  This is actually the best part of my blog.  I want to lead a worship event in the Xcel Energy center.  It is located in MPLS and is a huge arena.  I felt God lay that desire on my heart about a year ago and every time I pray about it I get this sense of excitement and anticipation.  This is definitely one of those dreams that the black smoke attacks pretty viciously.  Anyway, last night as I was trying to go to sleep, I started thinking about what that event would look like and I felt God give me this vision that is amazing:

I was standing on the stage at the Xcel center and it was packed full of people.  We began to worship, and as we joined in one song to our Creator, the building began to shake.  The power and presence of God was thick.  I felt God prompt me to invite people to come forward and give their life to Christ (in a very Billy Graham-esque way).  Tons of people flooded the alters.  We continued to worship and I felt God prompt me to pray over those who didn't know their worth or value in Christ.  They felt like the lost and the least.  I prayed God would reveal His love and passion for them.  I then felt God prompt me to talk about worship as a cycle, God singing over us and us responding to Him.  I talked about that and we again began to worship.  For some at that event it was the first time they felt God rejoicing over them.  Finally, I felt God prompt me to invite people to come get prayer for healing as well as instruct me to pray over and instruct others in healing.  People responded and God healed!  After that powerful event, I saw myself leaving there and going to similar venues and crowd sizes around the world.  

So there it is, black smoke.  There is my destiny.  There is my God vision.  There is the truth of God's heart for me.  I will stand in that.

What is God's dream for you?

What is the need?

He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness.11 You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God.12 For the ministry of this service is not only supplying the needs of the saints but is also overflowing in many thanksgivings to God.13 By their approval of this service, they will glorify God because of your submission flowing from your confession of the gospel of Christ, and the generosity of your contribution for them and for all others,14 while they long for you and pray for you, because of the surpassing grace of God upon you.15 Thanks be to God for his inexpressible gift! ~ 2 Corinthians 9:10-15

I am a firm believer that the church is called to make their needs known to each other.  The New Testament church shared everything!  No one was without want.  I believe that is God's heart for the church today is still to make our needs known to our brothers and sisters and meet each other's needs.  So, I am practicing what I believe and asking those of you who read this blog to pray about how you might help sow into the Kingdom through the ministry God has called me to.

Currently, the ministry is in need of a few things:

1.  A computer.  

Jon has one that he uses for work purposes, but our home computer that is used for ministry purposes is on it's last leg.  I am specifically in need of a computer that is:  Compact for travel, has Word, PowerPoint, and Excel programs, has a cd/dvd drive.  My preference is a Mac, but I realize those are expensive, so I will be thankful for whatever God lays on your heart.  :)

2.  Funding for ministry school.   

I was recently accepted to Bethel School of Worship, which is awesome!  I am now in need of funding for that trip which, according to estimates on my end, will run around $4,000.  That includes tuition, transportation and housing for my family, and a vehicle for a month in California.

3.  Monthly financial partners

I believe God has called me to raise a monthly budget of $1750 a month which includes personal, ministry, and travel expenses.  This budget will allow me to quit working my part time job and invest in songwriting, developing other worship leaders, taking worship to the nations, etc.  I need to be at $500 a month by March.  I believe God has a team of people passionate about worship.  If you feel like God is laying on your heart to join this team of ministry partners with a monthly financial donation, please fill out my pledge form.

 If you want to know more about what is going on in the area of worship or what I am specifically raise support for, I would LOVE to chat with you about it.  Please email heatherfulkworship@gmail.com with your contact information and I will give you a call or schedule coffee if you are in the Minneapolis area.

If you have read this blog, please pray about how God might be leading you to help with any of these needs.  If you would like to contribute a single gift toward a computer or Bethel, feel free to do that as well.  I am confident that as you give to Kingdom work, God is able to multiply it, both for this ministry and in your life!  How exciting!

Blessings to all my readers.  :)

~Heather

To give financial gifts, please mail checks to:

Seg-Way Ministries

310 18th Ave. SE

Minneapolis, MN 55418

Please put "Heather Fulk" in the memo of your check.  

You can also go to the following link:  http://heatherfulk.com/give.html.  There is an online giving option on that page for those who like to give online.

A reflection of the past & anticipation for the future

It seems that most people are taking time to write posts or blog entries about the past year and what they hope to attain in 2011.  Here is me, jumping on the bandwagon.  :)


So, what have I learned this past year?  So much, but namely that God loves me, that He really does provide for His will in our lives, and that He is worth everything.  I have to tell you that I am sure I have written down similar thoughts before, but I think this year has been truly life-changing.  I have always known God loves me, but taking the risk of allowing Him to come into the places I hold so dear and scraping them out has been so frightening.  God has spent this entire year working on the things that I think bring me security so that I could really know His love and it has been nothing short of amazing.  I have spent my whole life wondering what it would be like to actually live out my God-dreams but never being willing to really let go of things that kept me from that.  This year, God has been so gently taking my hands off those things and filling it with Himself.  Amazing.  How awesome is it that we have a Father that loves us??  When we get that, Christianity stops becoming about the "rules & regulations," legalism, etc. and begins to be about having to know Jesus more and seeking Him out.  My heart's cry is to know Jesus more and when I actually turn my gaze on Him and ask for it, He gives it freely.  Wow!


I learned this year that when God calls you to something, He is more than able to provide.  Not only did God provide for an amazing conference that changed my life, but He sent me to Romania as well!  All of that was funded by God!  It was a truly incredible year of learning the generosity of the Father, especially when He calls you to something.  Along that line, I am learning the value of letting go of the security of the dollar.  God has provided not only for ministry, but just for our family in general and it is amazing.  I have found that giving my worries, fears, anxieties of money to the Lord and letting Him take that place in my heart has brought more peace than I realized.  I have also learned that when I really trust the Lord with my finances, I can give without fear.  God asks us to be generous givers, but I know for me personally I have always been afraid to "give too much" because I didn't have enough.  Quite the opposite!  When I give (as God leads), especially when it is a sacrifice, God returns more than I gave.  Love it!  God is good.  :)

I think the most valuable lesson (as if those aren't crazy good...) is that I have learned that God really is my confidence and my strength.  I really can do ALL things through Christ that lives in me.  God has taught me that my value and worth lies only in Him.  How freeing is that!  As a person who has struggled a bit with insecurity, it is so freeing to know that I don't have to live up to any standard or person, but that I am unique with unique purpose and ability and that is GOOD.  Because of this journey, I have begun the processing of writing music (which I never though I could do) and being free of the burden of trying to measure up to others.  

I am continuing to seek God's heart on so many more areas in my life that He is tugging at, but I anticipate that 2011 is going to be full of God and that is so exciting!  I am embarking on more solid support raising this year.  I am probably going to be traveling more this year.  There is a recording in the making, with mostly original songs (which is something I never thought I could do!)  So much is happening and God is right in the middle of it all.  So, bring on 2011!  I am ready for whatever You want me to do, Abba.  <3

Pray for Romania

I board a plane Wed. afternoon (at 3:40 to be exact) for Romania!  We will be joining Belinda, a missionary from our local church body, at a YWAM base for a week of Call2Worship.  While there we will be leading worship, teaching voice lessons and workshops, and in general doing what God wants us to do.  My teaching is entitled "Engaging in Worship" and I believe is very much a piece of God's heart on personal and corporate worship.  I am beyond excited!  We need your prayer covering, so please join me in praying for:

• Safety and health as we travel to and are in Romania.  Pray that all flights and connections go smoothly. 

• I am feeling a bit anxious about being away from Jon and the girls for 11 days, so please pray for peace.  I know God is in charge of it all, so He will take care of all of us.  I just need His peace as I go.

• The students, that they would get everything God has for them while there.  Pray for God conversations, our worship time with them, and our teaching. 

• Jon and the girls, that they would have a restful time while they are home.

Thank you all so much!  I know God is up to some great things and I am so blessed to be a part of it.  :)

We Still Believe

One of my favorite worship leaders (Kathryn Scott) recently released her latest album called "We Still Believe."  Just a slight plug... but you should definitely buy it.  It is worth it.  Trust me.  :)

I was so blissfully unaware of how timely this album, and particularly this song, would be in my life.  To date, it seems that life has decided to throw me a curve ball.  The world, full of hurt, pain, sickness, and death decided to rear it's ugly head with a vengeance.  A close friend passed away after a valiant battle with CF.  Right in the middle of her stay in the hospital, our pastor's wife was diagnosed with a glioblastoma (brain tumor).  The prognosis is grim.

Ironically, it would seem that all this tragedy would drive me to despair, but God seems to keep filling me with feelings that I could not possibly conjure up on my own, especially right now.  On a frequent basis, the Lord gives me pictures of my friend in heaven, beautiful and whole, in the embrace of Jesus and her mother.  Where I would feel pain, the Lord fills me with hope and joy because I know that she is finally whole.  There is a beauty in those pictures that my words can't contain, and at the same time a longing to experience that as well.

I pray for my pastor's wife frequently, for the Kingdom of God to break in with healing and remove that tumor.  I believe that God is able to do it.  I am full of hope that the God of all wonders is listening to me and working in her.

As long as we are on earth, we are fighting so many battles.  We are fighting the battle of living in a fallen world.  We are fighting the battle of good versus evil (God vs. Satan).  The battle of the a fallen world will not be over until I get to be with Jesus, but I can be encouraged, even in the middle of death and distress, that the battle between Jesus and Satan has been won!  We still fight, and sometimes we see a breakthrough of God's Kingdom.  Sometimes we don't get to see it until heaven.

I am confident of this:  the fight is not won simply through signs & wonders (though they certainly aid in boosting our faith).  The fight is one in confessing the goodness of God, even when the journey seems unbearable.  The fight is won when we stand in the face of the enemy and proclaim that no amount of disease, pain, or death will silence the cry of my heart "Jesus, You are good!  I love You and will proclaim Your name until I reach heaven."  Life is hard.  Sometimes it hurts.  Though the darkness closes in, STILL I will say "Blessed by Your name."  That is where defeat happens and joy springs forth.  That is the wellspring of life.

So, we continue to cry out:

We still believe
We still believe
We're still surrendering our hearts
Your faithfulness is our reward.
We still believe
We still believe
And though the journey has been hard
We will confess Your goodness, God.

We still believe.

The great struggle called faith...

My husband has (rightly) prompted me to update my blog since the last post is sorely outdated.  I have many things going on in my life at the moment and many thoughts to go with them, but I really want this place to express what is going on with me, God, and His call.

I have spent the last 14 years of my life with Jesus wrestling with faith (or lack thereof).  I have heard many great people say many great things about faith and yet the wrestle to "obtain" it continued.  Just when I thought I had "pinned down the cloud" so to speak, it was once again gone, sometimes for a good while.  I suppose that having faith and understanding grace go hand in hand.  I can't say that I have always had the best view of grace, believing that every mistake I ever made took me completely out of the love of the Father, not realizing that my weakness was a prime chance for His strength to shine (and after all isn't that biblical...?)  As one of my most favorite speakers says "God would rather have you messy than not have you at all."  Oh, what a valuable lesson to learn early on... So, it is no surprise to me that I struggled most of my Christian life with not having "enough" faith.

And then God intervened through so many wonderful people teaching me what grace really was because, after all, didn't we just admit that faith and grace go hand in hand?  Starting about 7 years ago, God began bringing me into contact with one person after another who had been taught a healthy version of grace.  As I began to understand what grace is, particularly in my life, I began to step out more in.... you guessed it... faith.  I began to learn how to hear God's voice (some would call this prophecy... I just think it is being in tune with God) and actually step out in what He was saying.  There were definitely seasons of my life where God asked me to hang on, even when it hurt, struggling to see the purpose He had for me in that time and place, but I got through.  I am not so naive as to think that will not happen again, but let us stick with the present.

We are currently a part of a most fantastic church with an even better pastor who has teachings on grace that continue to blow my mind.  The really great part of this whole blog is that I feel like for the first time in my 14-year walk, God has given me the ability to have faith for the impossible on a pretty consistent basis.  He has drawn me into such an intimate relationship with Him this past year of my life particularly that I have actually begun to believe the things He says He will do even when I don't see it immediately.  Do I have bad days?  You bet!  Today was definitely one of them.  But, I am again drawn back to the Word that reminds me of the promises of God and the promises He has given me as His child.  God's purposes for us, His children are GOOD.  He is for us!  And I have to say that this realization did not come just through a head knowledge, but a heart knowledge, God encountering me and I encountering Him.

And so, I wrap up my thoughts on faith for this evening.  There are many more, but since I am actually having to think about what to type instead of not being able to get the words out fast enough, I should quit.  If you read this blog, I would love to know some of your favorite faith scriptures.  What spurs you on?  What keeps you going when life gives you every reason to think God isn't going to do what He said?    Facebook friends, feel free to comment on the link if you don't have a blogger account.  I would love to hear your thoughts and testimonies of God's goodness and faithfulness.

Blessings, friends!

Belfast, Ireland

"Where You go, I go; what You say, I say; what You pray, I pray."  This is what God downloaded into my spirit just a few months ago at an amazing worship conference at Christ for the Nations in Dallas, TX.  It was so deeply etched in my spirit that I spent quite a few minutes on the last night of worship saying that phrase over and over.  God has been very specific with me in this calling that I only move when I feel His leading, and I am trying my best to do that.

And so, it is time to move!  I can hardly believe it, but God has opened up doors for my friend (who I lead worship with) and me to do a bit of worship leading and teaching at a YWAM in Belfast, Ireland.  Yeah, insane!  When God spoke to me at CFNI, He made it clear that He would be using me both within my local church, but also outside of it.  I had no idea He would start using me outside the church so quickly... and so far away.  I am blown away!

Here is the real catch... this opportunity is NEXT month.  We will be in Belfast from April 18-23.  There will be a group of YWAM (youth with a mission) students in Ireland for a DTS, which stands for Discipleship Training School before going out to do short-term missions in South Africa.  A missionary, who is part of our home church, travels around the world with YWAM teaching on worship.  While we are there, we will have the opportunity to do a some teaching on worship as well as lead worship times.  She will still be the primary teacher and leader.  

God continues to stretch me when He asks me to move (shocking, I know)!  The last time He called me to do something (CFNI), it required an exorbitant amount of money I did not have.  Because of God's prompting, I was able to raise the money to go in just under a month.  It was the coolest experience to date.  So, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that He is once again giving me just a month to raise the necessary funds to go where He is calling me to go.

And the race is on!  Here are the numbers:  In order for my friend and me to be fully funded for this trip, we have to raise roughly $2500 (which includes 2 round trip tickets, passports, food while traveling, and a small emergency fund).  We already have lodging and food while there, which is a huge blessing.   I have been thinking about this quite a bit, and I came up with a pretty logical thought.  If 100 people gave $25, we would be fully funded!  Of course, if you are reading this and feel led to give more (or even less), that would be very beneficial.  :)  Don't let that number deter you from giving any amount.

Please pray about how God might lead you to help us pour into the lives of these students in Ireland.  Again, I ask because I am confident that you are giving to His kingdom and you will be richly rewarded.  I really am convinced of this.  And as a bonus, the first 25 donors will get a personal postcard from me, direct from Ireland!  Now isn't that worth donating right now!?  :D

If you want to donate to this trip, you can go directly to my giveMN website and donate online.  It is a free, secure website.  All contributions are given directly to me and are tax-deductible.  

If you are not a fan of giving online, you can mail a check to:

Seg-way Ministries

310 18th Ave. SE

Minneapolis, MN 55414

Please put "Heather Fulk" in the memo.

If you do plan on mailing a check, would you please email me (heatherfulk@gmail.com) and let me know the amount you sent so I know how much I need to raise.  If you give online I can see your total (even if you choose to remain anonymous).

Thank you for reading this whole post and praying about how God would have you give.  

Because of Him,

Heather